sometimes it occurs to me that i am, perhaps,
a man of very little brain.
everything around me is delivered in very big terms.
the bigger the number the more interesting the story
is perceived to be. apparently.
i'm not quite sure throughout what period of my life
i began to get lost.
i am in control of my faculties throughout february, but visit me at the end of january, march, july, august, october or december and watch me fade. every leap year i take to my bed for one whole day.
i feel far more comfortable travelling at 70 miles per hour than i ever will at 112.654 kilometres per hour.
and i feel completely lost in a world of 7 billion souls.
when quantifying pi a figure of '3.1415' has always been sufficient for my practical purposes, although i understand that it has been computed (by people with far too much time on their hands i fear) to more than a trillion decimal places. and all this whilst a shorter version (to just 39 decimal places) would have provided enough accuracy to calculate the circumference of a circle as wide as the universe and with the precision of the size of one hydrogen atom. just thinking of that is giving me a nose-bleed.
i've been trying to find an accurately reported figure for total global debt. but it seems it is just too terrible an amount for anyone to have been brave enough to write down anywhere.
i did read that the united states has (or had when i checked it a few days ago) a total debt of $15 trillion. which is nice for them since, if i'm honest with you, i don't really know what a trillion looks like. it is shortened to 'tr.' though, and that makes it far less threatening, although it's still not as friendly as its cousin 'bill.'
i think the time has come for more honesty in numbering.
such ridiculously large numbers are only quoted because they are too big for us to challenge. the truth is that no one even knows how much uncle sam owes, but the effect on the listener after hearing a figure of multiple-trillions is to render them temporarily blind and slightly paralysed.
that's what happens to me anyway.
i have resolved, in future, to give a blanket term to any numbers larger than those i can comfortably imagine.
if i say it forcefully enough perhaps you too will go blind and feel tremors running the length of your limbs.
i've decided on 'vagillion'.
i think it is unsettling on more than one level, and delivered with a straight back and direct eye contact i fancy it will cure me of my hitherto debilitating phobia for large numbers.
i'll let you know how it goes.
