...for the ideal wavelength...

if there's one thing i take seriously, it's radio.

and for radiophiles such as me there's never been

 a better time than now.

i used to have a radio in every room of the home,

 and i could move from room to room without missing a word

 or a beat. back in the day i had five national (british) networks i could tune into, together with a couple of local stations.

today there are thousands at my digital fingertips.

i've dallied with many, but always return to the bbc.

not the (international) bbc world service, you understand,

 but the real (national) bbc.

this is a secret that us brits like to keep to ourselves.

 in the same way we've known for years that the french keep the best wine for themselves and only export second-rate vintages, we've been doing the same with our radio since 1932. 

  there's a substantial difference between the output of

 the world service and the national networks.

if you're an international listener to the bbc's world service

 i heartily recommend that you find radio 4 

on the bbc's iplayer and give it a try.

bbc radio 4

but don't let anyone know who told you, otherwise that'll be my chance of a knighthood gone. and i really want one of those.

...for a great song about coffee...

i spend too much time thinking and reading about coffee.

but i also spend a lot of time drinking it too.

i got thinking about how, although coffee has percolated* deep into our psyche over many centuries, it has inspired, to my mind,

 only pitifully poor songs to be written about it.

doubtless many more have been written during late-night sessions fueled by it (and, who knows, perhaps even harder substances).

coffee and song are indivisible.

but why so few great songs?

i commented on sketchbloom whilst considering this conundrum, 

and here is her sage response: sketchbloom - fall bouquet

*percolated - clever aren't i?

some of my previous outstanding coffee-related posts:

still searching for the perfect espresso (part five)

still searching for the perfect espresso (part four)

still searching for the perfect espresso (part three)

still searching for the perfect espresso (part deux)

...for a blessed release...

hasidic jews are, apparently, prevented by religious rules

 from breaking wind whilst wearing their hat.

the next time one of these crazy cats doffs his at you, you might like to ask yourself, and perhaps him, why he is doing it.

...for a cake more perfect than this...

battenberg.

can there be a more perfect or more comforting confection?

it's doubtful.

first made in 1884 for the wedding of one of queen victoria's granddaugters to prince louis of battenberg, the cake has been an established element of the very best english high teas ever since.

whilst many cakes are best when home-made (christmas, simnel and lemon-drizzle rank high amongst them), battenberg is at its finest when consumed fresh out of a box. 

when next there is a slice of marks & spencer battenberg cake on the plate in front of me, i will know that all is well in my life.

(i was, for a while, acquaintance to a battenberg

 of the human variety.

we never discussed cakes. nor ate any.

on reflection i feel this ranks as a missed opportunity).

...for a quieter life...

visual pollution is as devastating as noise pollution.

everywhere i look i see the results of over-designing, too many graphics, and 'creatives' not knowing where to stop.

how much more pleasant would it be, for example, to walk the supermarket aisles and to see familiar products looking like this:

minimalist effect

...for the shortest queue...

i'm british. we love to queue.

if no queue exists, you can count on two brits 

to get together and form one.

it is not, regrettably, quite the same art-form it used to be.

 one rarely sees queue-rs / queuesters / queuees camping out overnight in order to gain entry to anything

 (unless it is an apple store, and that doesn't count

 because it's driven by pointless consumerism).

apparently other nationalities queue too.

 out of necessity though, rather than for pleasure.

the diane arbus retrospective, currently showing at the jeu de paume in paris, has had heart-sinkingly lengthy queues, as has london's national gallery's leonardo at the court of milan show.

regrettably i have been unable to join the throngs

 queuing for either of these. 

it got me thinking though - how long is too long to queue?

i'm not sure.

but i did begin to wonder if, once an artist's show becomes

 a blockbuster, perhaps their game is over.

...for the perfect ride... (part three)

blue sky and the long shadows of winter sunshine.

close to perfection.

which makes this taste even more rewarding at the end of it...

i woke as an englishman,

but feel tonight i shall sleep like a belgian.

(you'd have to be a cyclist to understand)

...for a good book...

call me shallow (no, actually please don't!), but i was going through a list of '100 books to read before you die' and became quite ashamed as i realised how few of them i've actually read.

examples:

in search of lost time by marcel proust - no

tristram shandy by laurence sterne - nein

suite francaise by irène némirovsky - non

the glass bead game by herman hesse - seriously?

but then i looked at someone else's list, far less high-brow,

 and discovered i have (pretty much) read them all.

i feel much better about myself now.

forget the books, i shall instead be more selective about

 which lists i read in future.

...for a reason to be bothered... (again)

idiots.

...for educational fulfillment...

i can hardly believe my good fortune.

this morning i received an email from a professor julius tumwebaze of the university of kampala, in which he has offered me a degree of my own for only $59.95.

how lovely.

now all i have to do is decide what i want it in,

 and where to hang it.

it makes me wonder why anyone would study for years to get one of their own when there are good people like professor julius around.

...for the perfect brain nourishment...

i feed my brain on a daily smörgåsbord of bbc radio,

 london's 'i' newspaper, the iht, a small selection of what i perceive as reliable internet-based news sources, and an even smaller selection of those who i perceive as reliable, well-informed and entertaining 'bloggers' and 'tweeters'.

a recurring highlight is the weekend edition of the financial times (at the weekend there's less about the finance,

 and more about these times).

since 2007 i have gorged (almost) monthly on tyler brûlé's

 'monocle' magazine.

surely this is what all publications dream of becoming

 when they grow up.

now brûlé has launched 'monocle 24 radio', and my life is complete.

you can, and indeed must, discover it for yourself here

...for a renaissance in etiquette...

i had a piece of cake with my espresso today.

it was nothing special, nor anywhere special.

what made it remarkable was that it was served (rather curiously, on a saucer) with a cake-fork.

i don't eat a lot of cake, but it reminded me what a difference it makes when any food is served with the correct cutlery.

one important tip i learned many years ago was to:

'never eat with a spoon what you can eat with a fork'