Monday, October 17, 2011

...for the safest of havens...

whilst nuclear holocaust has slipped steadily down my own
 mental ladder of current concerns, it has been replaced by a
 great many other impending events that seem certain to bring
 on my untimely annihilation. and possibly yours too.

a) the economic meltdown could see civil order turned on it's head.

b) the global food crisis could see those whom the west
 currently exploits coming to knock on our door and
 asking for their fair share.

c) global warming is certain to cause sea levels to rise
 putting at risk anyone afflicted with dwarfism or those
 a little-on-the-short-side.

and d) there's still the nagging threat of nuclear fall-out
 either through conflict, terrorism or accident.

oh, and harold camping has predicted that friday 21 october will really honestly and truly be the last day of life on the planet.
 he got it wrong when he predicted it would be 21 may.
 but he guarantees it this time.

so, i'm making plans.

where are the world's ultimate safe havens?

1. chiang mai, thailand - marc faber, one of the world's gloomiest investors, lives here. whilst most of south east asia has been torn apart by both drug wars and wars of the conventional kind, chiang mai has remained stable. the rural and agricultural setting would provide for sustenance when, after the economic meltdown is complete, your dollars are worthless.

2. tristan da cunha, somewhere in the south atlantic - with a population of just 271 they're probably looking to grow and would welcome some company. great opportunities for anglers.

3. denver, colorado - a mile high, so is likely to be amongst the last to be affected by higher sea-levels.

4. bern, switzerland - because it's in switzerland.
so everything will be fine.

5. pancuk jaya, indonesia - not much going for it other than it is home to the world's largest gold mine, and third largest copper mine. get your feet under the table here and you're sorted.


and -

6. tierra del fuego, chile or argentina, not sure which but it's right at the bottom of south america - wind patterns make this city the perfect place to avoid nuclear fallout.


of course none of us will be safe anywhere should harold camping be proved correct this time. should this be the case we shall all have cause to mourn, not least, for harold himself.